A Failed Attempt of Defenestrating Malfoy
by Neuronian
Summary: Post war, year 8: Harry has just spotted Malfoy acting very strangely. But how had this escalated to Harry trying to push him out a window? Read and find out! (Challenge fic)


**A Failed Attempt of Defenestrating Malfoy**

**A/N:**

**Hey Guys! Basically my beta gave me a fanfic challenge a long time ago, and only recently I excavated my attempted fanfic from my old, dusty draft book. So here's my pitiful attempt at this ridiculously silly challenge.**

**Words/ Phrases to include: **

'**Shadows'**

'**Defenestrate' - The act of throwing one out of a window**

**Extravaganza' **

'**I have pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis'**

* * *

Caught in the act of **defenestrating** someone was never a good thing. Especially when the witness _just happened _to be the Head Girl, and the victim _just happened_ to be the freaking Head Boy.

Life was a bloody joke. Seriously.

"I can't believe you were about to throw Draco out the window!" Hermione tiraded as Harry rolled his eyes darkly. "What on _Earth _possessed you to do such a thing?!"

Oh yes, finally, the million galleon question. What on Earth _had _possessed the peace-loving, the-war-has-ended-so-we-should-end-the-feud-betwee n-the-houses Harry, to commit such an atrocious crime, even though the victim happened to be Malfoy? Surely there was a good reason for all this?

Harry shut his eyes blocking Hermione's red, pissed-off face and Draco's smug grin and concentrated on keeping his anger in check.

_Life wasn't fair. It simply wasn't fair._

* * *

(1 hour earlier)

Harry sauntered calmly down a corridor, walking towards his destination: The Head Boy and Girl dormitories. Although he had resolved to not ask Hermione's help for any more essays or reports or assignments or fill-in-the-blank exercises, Harry really needed help in the coming potions test. Snape could be one heck of a son-of-a-bitc*ahem*prince when it came to tests.

So feeling justified by his reasoning, he happily went on down the corridor and turned right, just in time to catch Malfoy sneering at something outside, through a closed window.

Harry frowned as his curiosity piked up. _What was Malfoy looking at?_

"What are you doing?" Harry asked abruptly, erupting the silence.

Draco jolted up, eyes wide, hair slightly dishevelled, as though he had just been trying to steal a cookie from the cookie jar. Then, realising it was just Harry, he smirked and crossed his arms.

"Why Potter, just marvelling my beautiful reflection," he drawled as he leaned against the window. "Don't bother to stop. Yours is not worth looking at."

Harry didn't know how he figured immediately that Malfoy was lying. Perhaps it was because his eyes kept darting inconspicuously towards the window and his leg was bobbing up and down to the rhythm of a frantic heartbeat. Or maybe it was because his words didn't ring true; he had been sneering joyfully at the window, not admiring his reflection.

For whatever reason, Malfoy was definitely lying. And a lying Malfoy never meant any good.

"No, really Malfoy," Harry smiled, attempting to be friendly as he tried to peer over Draco's shoulder. "What were you looking at?"

Malfoy's eyes widened comically and he shoved Harry out of the way before he could take a step closer.

"Don't come near!" he warned, raising a hand to ward off Harry's advances towards the window. "Seriously, you don't want to!"

"Why?"

"Because **I have pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis**!" declared Malfoy.

You have _what_?!" yelped Harry, confusion wriggling through his features.

"Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis!"

"…"

"A lung disease caused by the inhalation of very fine silica dust, causing inflammation in the lungs." Draco shook his head in mock dismay. "Honestly Potter, don't you do crosswords?"

Harry rolled his eyes. "Honestly Malfoy, don't beat around the bush. Just tell me what you saw."

"Don't beat around the _what_? Why would I go, beating up a freaking bush?!"

Harry felt like ripping his hair out. "Just stop _shitting_ around and tell me what you were looking at!"

Draco curled his upper lip in disgust. "Unlike you Potter, I'm a _civilised _human being, and like all other superior beings over your Neolithic one, I 'shit' as you so eloquently put it, in the toilet."

Despite the insult, Harry smiled. "Changing are we? No longer comparing yourself to muggle-borns?"

Draco frowned. "Even mudbloods shit in toilets."

Harry glared.

Draco shrugged.

"ARGH! This is ridiculous!" Harry yelled, rather quite pissed off by Malfoy's stubbornness. "I'll just go to some other window!"

"Wait!" Draco cried. "I'm holding a birthday party! You're invited!"

That stopped Harry in his tracks.

"WHAT?!"

"Oho!" Draco sneered. "Upset you weren't invited before? No matter, you're invited now. It will be a huge **extravaganza**! I mean, it's MY birthday after all."

While Draco kept rattling on about his birthday party and how enormous it was going to be, the beautiful colour scheme, the amazing venue and of course all the pureblood families Harry will be _so_ privileged to meet, our poor hero was trying to comprehend it all.

"AGHH!" Harry shouted, shutting his ears to Draco's lunatic ravings. "Stop talking! Just stop talking! I don't care if you're suffering from whatcha-call-it- "

"Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis?" Draco interrupted.

"Whatever! And I don't want to go to your stupid birthday party either! I just want to look…outside…the…..bloody…..WINDOW!"

"Okay, okay don't have to shout," Draco drawled looking somewhat amused. "Geez! Never thought I'd see the day Potter throws a freaking tantrum."

"I DIDN'T- I mean," Harry swallowed his anger and frustration and tried to summon any remaining shreds of dignity. "Look, will you let me look out the window?"

Draco's smile slowly ebbed away. "No…?"

Harry sighed. "Okay, so that's it then. Good day Malfoy."

And before Draco had time to react, Harry sped down the corridor, took a left turn and spotted a window.

Unheeding Draco's surprised yell, he positively pounced on the window and gasped at what he saw outside. In the **shadows **under the fringes of hazel trees, he saw a sight that made his stomach drop.

Dean was kissing Ginny. And she was kissing back.

Harry's hands clenched and a lump started to form at the back of his throat. He couldn't believe his eyes. How could Ginny do this to him? Harry quickly blinked back his tears as he heard a loud thump behind him.

"Dammit!" Draco panted behind him.

Harry turned on Draco, frowning slightly. So this was what Malfoy didn't want him to see? His girlfriend kissing her ex-boyfriend? Then, it finally dawned on him.

Malfoy was trying to protect him from the truth.

Harry smiled slightly, although his chest lurched painfully. "Were you trying to protect me from the truth?"

"Hardly," Draco sneered, relishing Harry's shocked look. "I wanted to see your face when you saw that disgusting scene. Even better, see your face AFTER she broke up with you."

Harry saw red. Literally. With a war cry, he launched himself towards Draco, dragged him by the ear, opened a window and proceeded to try throw Malfoy out the window.

"HARRY POTTER!"

Damn, he'd forgotten all about Hermione.

* * *

"So like I said, Harry you have to get over this interhouse rivalry thing," Hermione sighed softly, her chocolate eyes mellowing down. "The past is the past, let it go."

"Yeah Potter," drawled Draco. "Let…it….go…"

Harry lunged at Draco.

"Incarcerous!" shouted Hermione.

Harry stumbled and fell backwards painfully, while Draco gleefully sniggered.

_Life was not fair. It simply wasn't fair._


End file.
